The Great State Fight
by VivaAmerica
Summary: Based off The Great State Fight. Lots of states, lots of chaos, lots of silliness. It's all America can do to survive each day. OC states so if you don't like OCs, this story is not for you.


_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

America groaned and rolled over in his bed to glare at the offending alarm clock on his nightstand. It read 7:00 AM. He reached over and hit the snooze button. With another groan he burrowed his head into the pillows and tried to go back to sleep. He was hosting a World Conference in a couple hours and he wanted as much sleep as possible before facing the other nations.

_BANG!_

The bedroom door slammed open to reveal a small six year old girl with long black hair, dark skin and brown eyes. She was wearing a floral t-shirt and khaki shorts. America bolted upright and scrambled for his glasses. "Geez Hawaii!" he gasped. She climbed onto the bed and bounced on it.

"I have to tell you something, it's reeeeeeaalllly important!" She landed on America's lap and squished his cheeks in between her hands.

"M'kay! What is it?" America asked. He wanted to be mad, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry at his youngest state. She squished his cheeks even harder and grinned.

"Guess!" America chuckled and reached up to gently pry her hands from his cheeks.

"…Hmm…you invented a new sport?" Hawaii giggled and shook her head. America tickled her and her giggles turned into shrieks of joy. She doubled over and her legs flailed wildly,

"Stop it daddy! I already invented a sport! It's something else!" **(A.N. In case you're wondering, surfing was made into a sport in Hawaii) **America relented and pulled her into his lap. Hawaii snuggled with him for a few minutes until she said, "It _is _important daddy."

"Okay sweetie, tell me."

"Kentucky and Nebraska have Rhode Island locked in the bathroom."

"WHAT?!" America leapt out of bed, leaving a confused Hawaii behind as he raced for the bathroom. He ground his teeth in frustration as he reached the corner of the hall. There were at least three bathrooms on this floor alone, where was-

A thumping upstairs gave it away. He ran up the stairs to the third floor and saw the two troublemakers leaning against a door. He could here thumps and a small voice on the other side. "Boys!" he yelled. Kentucky and Nebraska bolted down the hallway. America gritted his teeth and was about to chase after them when-

_SLAM!_

The bathroom door swung open and hit him in the face. America fell back on his butt and clutched his throbbing head. All fifty stars spun around his head and he saw two little boys run toward him. "I'm so sorry dad, I had no idea you were there!" they said. After a few moments, the boys turned into one and he shook his head to clear it. Rhode Island was a small boy with brown hair and clear blue eyes. He wore a sailor suit and he was tugging at his cap nervously. America gave him dazed smile and slowly got to his feet.

"No problem sport, I'll deal with those two later. Are you okay?" Rhode Island nodded. "Then let's go have breakfast. Whose turn is it to make it?"

"Texas."

America hauled Rhode Island onto his back and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where wonderful odors were wafting out. The kitchen/dining room was enormous, though you wouldn't know it when 50 states were packed in it. However, for now Texas was the only one there. He was about 17 physically and he looked like a younger version of America except for the brown hair and lack of a cowlick and glasses. He was standing in front of the stove, expertly flipping pancakes onto an already heaping plate. On the counter was another platter filled with bacon. Texas heard them come in and turned to greet them.

"Mornin' Pa, Rhody, grab a plate and help yourself." America did just that and soon enough he and Rhode Island were sitting at the table and digging in to their breakfast.

"Is any'ne elshe awake?" America asked, his mouth stuffed with pancakes. Texas nodded and pointed out a window,

"Utah's out there weedin' her garden and I think Washington's wanderin' around the library."

The door slammed open and Hawaii ran in and leapt onto America's lap, "You left me!" She pouted. America hugged her and apologized by giving her some bacon. Another nation drifted into the room, she was around 15, had black, straight hair and grey eyes. Her clothes were grey except for a bright yellow sweater vest and she carried an umbrella in the crook of her arm. Her face was stuck inside a worn copy of _Pride and Prejudice _and she would have run into the counter if Texas hadn't stopped her.

"Good morning Washington!" Hawaii said.

Washington finally looked up and glanced at the overflowing plate of bacon. "Don't you think that's a bit much, even for our family?" She asked, her voice barely concealing her boredom. America and Texas opened their mouths to protest but they were cut off by a dramatic gasp at the doorway. A young woman with curly blonde hair and brown eyes leaned against the door frame, the back of her hand pressed to her forehead. She was wearing a tank top and shorts. She looked at Washington, pinched her thumb and forefinger together, and said in a fake British accent, "One does not simply have too much bacon."

Washington rolled her eyes, "Whatever drama queen." She grabbed a plate and loaded it with pancakes and bacon and went to sit at the far end of the table. Texas grinned at the blonde,

"I've never heard truer words, Cali." California grinned and kissed him on the cheek before she grabbed a plate of her own. Utah, a sweet girl with brown curly hair and green eyes came in through the outside door holding two jars of honey. She was dressed in a plain t-shirt and jeans. She kissed America on the cheek and placed the honey on the table before she went to get her own breakfast.

More and more states entered and the table quickly became crowded, America had been meaning to get a bigger table but he'd always been too busy (read as: forgetful) to replace it. Latecomers compensated by sitting on any available counter space and the room was filled with the sound of states chattering, joking, but mostly arguing, with each other.

"Buckeyes!" Ohio yelled, pounding the table with his fist.

"Wolverines!" Michigan yelled back.

"I'm sick of you sending all of your pollution over here!" Indiana complained, glowering at Illinois. Illinois scoffed,

"Yeah, come back and talk to me when you get your own economy."

"You guys are all a bunch of idiots." Connecticut grumbled.

California, who'd been talking with Arizona, suddenly looked up and called down the table, "Hey, Washington! I just remembered, didn't those gay marriage laws pass in your state?" Washington looked up briefly, nodded, and dived back into her book. California squealed and skipped over to the gloomy state and hugged her. Washington growled but California ignored her.

"OMG! That's so cool! I can finally show you some awesome yaoi manga I got from Japan!" Washington pushed her off,

"NO. I'll stick with reading _real _novels thank you very much." Georgia looked up from where she was sitting on the counter next to South Carolina and asked snidely,

"Real novels? Like what, _Twilight_?" Washington shot straight up and glared at Georgia, her eyes flashing.

"Oh you did NOT just go there! I will nuke those pretty little peaches of yours clean off!"

Georgia screamed and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. America sighed, "Washington, please, we've talked about nuclear warfare before haven't we?"

As the argument continued, Alaska, a tall young man with silvery hair and purple eyes looked across the table where New Mexico was sitting and asked idly, "Can you build a time machine so I can go back in time and leave the room before these annoying disagreements started?"

New Mexico was a pretty girl with dark skin and so-dark-brown-it-was-almost-black straight hair. She adjusted her glasses and leaned down to hold a whispered conference with Tony, who'd been sitting on her lap. After a few seconds, she looked up and said, "Yes, with enough funding. But you can't do it, if you were to walk out of the room in the past, you would not ask me to build a time machine and not have it available to go back and leave the room. Ergo you would still be in the room to witness these arguments. This is a classic rookie time traveler's mistake."

"Can I go back and prevent you from saying that to me?" Alaska muttered, a purple aura hovering around him.

New Mexico shook her head while Tony glared at Alaska, "Same paradox. If you were to travel back in time and say, knock me unconscious, you would not then have the conversation that irritated you, motivating you to go back and knock me unconscious."

"Well what if I knocked you unconscious right now?"

Tony began muttering curse words at the arctic state and Texas, who'd been walking by and heard this last statement, placed a protective hand on New Mexico's shoulder.

"You touch my woman and it'll be the last thing you ever do!" He snarled. New Mexico glanced at him in irritation,

"I am not 'your woman' as you so crudely put it."

The three states attention however, was soon drawn to another, rather loud disagreement going on between Alabama and Mississippi.

"Why don't you stop sleeping with everybody?!" Alabama yelled.

"Girls, please-" America began but Mississippi cut him off.

"Oh yeah?! Well-well you're a COMMUNIST!" Everyone gasped and a hush fell over the room. No one, _no one_, EVER said _that_.

_EVER_.

After a few seconds Alabama regained her composure. "Oh that's it!"

She slapped Mississippi and Mississippi slapped her back. America ran to break it up but was distracted when Texas yelled, "Aw man, I've been waiting for this since 1845!" He reached across the table and punched Alaska so hard he crashed into the wall. Alaska took a moment to wipe the blood from his lips before he launched himself at Texas, knocking over the table and sending the food all over the floor. New Mexico screamed and scrambled back, clutching Tony tightly to her chest. Some states quickly started brawling while others, like Rhode Island, Hawaii and Utah hid behind the table or fled the room.

"Come at me bro, come at me!" New Jersey yelled.

New York kneed him in the gut, "Occupy this!"

Oregon stood at the door and said, "I'm not gonna fight I'm a pacifist-" He was cut off by Washington and Idaho shoving him out of the room.

"At least we let people pump their own gas!" Idaho yelled, giving Washington a high five.

Vermont somehow found some hot maple syrup and began pouring it over Massachusetts head. Maryland held up a modified potato gun, "Eat crab cakes #$%^ %&*&%$!" She screamed, shooting in every direction.

North and South Dakota faced one another, South Dakota laughed, "Haha, I've got no people how are you gonna hurt me?!"

North Dakota smirked and kicked him in the left shin.

"AAUGH! Sioux Falls!" South Dakota screamed, clutching his leg and falling to the ground.

"YEHAW!" Texas whooped above the thunderous noise.

* * *

Germany glanced at his watch and huffed in frustration, everyone was here…except America. "Can't that _dummkopf _even make it to his own conference center on time?" He muttered. The other nations were getting impatient too, some of the murmuring and mini arguments starting up around the table. Italy tugged at his shirt.

"Ve~! Germany, Germany, can we go out and eat pasta?" Germany brushed him off,

"_Nein _Italy, not until after the conference." Italy was about attempt to persuade him again when the door opened and America ran in.

"Sorry dudes, I totally didn't mean to leave you hanging like that!" The other grumbled a bit but soon enough the conference was underway and America got a chance to sit down next to England and Switzerland. England broke off arguing with France long enough to snap at America.

"What took you, you git?" He hissed. His face soon changed from annoyed to concern when he noticed America's fat lip and bruised cheek. "What happened to you lad?"

America shrugged and grinned his hero grin at his former caretaker, "Nothing dude, just a normal day for me!"

* * *

**This was soooooooooo much fun to write! Poor daddy America! XD**

**Please don't take any of these stereotypes seriously, they're meant for entertainment purposes only. **

**Please review!**


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